Godspeed Space Cowboy

It took her and me two weeks to finish that chocolate, a whole week of barely sleeping and the same song on repeat for at least three days, for me to realize I like you more than i ever should have. I got to care, and you slowly became another chronicle in the chaos of my psych. And it was never about having expectations. You’ve had been hunting me for some time; and I smelled your insides, reached out and exposed my neck, leaving the blood pumping through my veins lead you to where I was. You found me at a very strange time in my life, and you stepped inside and closed the door behind you. Little did I know. We handle this morbid adult life, and I juggle in between songs and movings and pink thongs while you categorize feelings and pages and thoughts and the words you’ll leave unsaid. Oh boy, if I should know about those; the ones that always come back to haunt us, they cling to our eyes, and become a part of everything we see. So I spit them out, unraveling how my head rules out.We corrupt ourselves, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted from you, since day one. I wanted a night with your mind, as raw and instinctive as it gets. But i was moved with the way you see the world; the way you went by me, getting everything off grid, spinning vigorously out of orbit. You’re a riddle I felt compelled to solve, and it has been from here to there and I still don’t know if I’m meant to solve you, or if I’ll ever be. And now its being rejected by everything about me; It’s like being stuck on a dream, and it doesn’t matter how fast your muscles contract and your joints bend, you are going nowhere, your feet paved to the ground. And I’ve come to terms with it. And You’ll be replaced by whiskey and outer space and books and I bet that you’ll miss me. I’ll be around this and that, you might even come across me while going through your favorite songs. Mine are there too, but you never bothered to check. It probably was just me, got built up over it, like sharing things with you; It was warm company, like the one my scarf gave you some time back. I think and overthink and my ferocity might have had something to do with it, and I'd also dare to say your own head scared yourself. All the things surrounding you were simple giving in; letting gravity do its job. But in between weeks and excuses it became motionless, and all those things started to crawl back up, surrounding you again. The tingling sensation my stomach used to get, doesn’t reach my eyes anymore, and I cling to myself rather than anybody else. Because Im always up to no good, as you hoped. And hopefully you’ll learn to flow at someday, and take care of the little things. Because you know, it’s all about those. But I won't ever apologize for leaving things a bit more shaken up than they were before. And I wont ever apologize for being too much for everybody else but me to handle.